A few classes into the semester we began talking about the Catholic-controversial issue of birth control and beautiful man raised his hand and contributed what he believed to be a very sound argument in favor of it with a cocky grin on his face. I'm not sure how much of his argument he believed, but I could tell that his thought was "now they know a pretty face has a brain behind it."
And so everyone sat in class, nervously looked around and the professor tried to catch the eye of a brave soul - which one of us was going to take him on and shoot his argument to shreds. I sadly admit that it took me a moment before I, never afraid of a fight before, slowly and tentatively raised my hand and caught his sly smile. I did the congenial debate tactic of acknowledging his argument. "While I don't disagree with your premise, the way you arrived at it was a little flawed," I said slowly easing in for the kill and feeling bad about it for the first time ever that I still remember the words today. "But, to say that 'God gave man the ability to make and use latex for this purpose' and therefore it is morally unobjectionable, only ignores the existence of every negative man-made invention ever used for harm. What about cop killer bullets? Or Agent Orange? Or biological weapons? ..." And then I hit my stride and didn't shut up. I watched him slowly deflate and the smile on my professor's face grow wider and wider. I never had a shot at him anyway and I'm not sure that I would ever be able to live with a man that couldn't argue his away out of a paper bag.
Sadly, beautiful man never once raised his hand again the rest of the semester. Most of the women in my class looked at me that day like I was crazy and the few other men in class, well I know that the smile two of them flashed me was for taking down their competition.
But, that is me - never afraid to walk away from a fight. Always armed with the knowledge that I can construct an argument with the best of them and tear someone's down if there is even a small fallacy contained within it. I'm the young woman that passed her argumentation class easily. The one that will talk about how you need claims, grounds, warrants and backing to put up a war of words.
Until now I've never been afraid to voice my opinions, to fight the good fight. But, somehow I've lost the will as of late. I sanction my words and I am now one of those scared young women that doesn't raise their hand in class when I know that there is a statement that I could tear down in a second.
Why is that? Because it seems that the war of words has turned very, very ugly as of late and it's littered with insults rather than sound statements.
Don't agree with someone's view on birth control, well it's far easier to call her a slut than to have a pointed debate on the issue. Someone has the audacity to look at the same situation and come to a different conclusion - call them an idiot and walk away. No longer are discourse or facts important, just throw out an insult and keep doing so until the person walks away from the fight - and not because you won, but because they realize there is no winning in this kind of war of words.
I've always been a political junkie. I remember being excited when I turned 18 and on that very day registered to vote. In third grade when others were turning in clippings of whatever was on the front page of the local paper for current events I was obsessed with the Iran-Iraq war and found stories from my mom's U.S. News & World Report. My teacher even once quizzed me, not sure that I was doing my own work in this area and she later told my mom in our discussion of said topic that I told her that her opinion on the issue seemed very "elementary" to me. The Bush - Clinton election, my first presidential one as a voter, I actually teared up as I cast my ballot.
But today's political climate leaves me cold and quiet on almost every issue. Sure, I still have very informed, strident opinions on the candidates and platforms, but even now I'm afraid to voice them. Because while I can read on every side of the issue, come to an informed opinion, voice said argument and the response will be someone calling me "brainwashed" at best.
There are times when I see a fight so insane that I can't walk away without throwing in a little sanity to the mix, but for the most part I find myself tiptoeing in this political landscape. Even things that I wouldn't think would drum up such a response have. It just seems that things have become more polarized and less rational - there is no more agree to disagree. There is no conceding the point of someone else when they are armed with facts and figures. There's no debate any longer. Just a war of words - insulting, horrible ones - not the type of war of words in which I like to engage.
Just know that if you lob an insult upon me and I don't respond - I've virtually walked away, but it's not because you won.
